Into The Army Of Light By: Carl Johnson II (Carl The Muse)

27 Mar


Whats next?


Has been a year

I will never forget

Lost my mother what seems like

Just the other day

And now three months later

My big brother

Has passed away

He has left this place

And again

My family is on record pace

I admit

  At first I broke down and cried

This is my big brother

I once looked up at this guy

It was a rush of emotions inside

No mom to call on the phone

No house to go to and sit together

In this stormy weather

Momma too is gone

Our house no longer a home

In the last month

My brother has been clinging to life

It never is an easy thing to see

And I have been here so many times

I have my wings

I have been through many trials

I am loaded up on frequent flier miles

And still

I get jet lagged

It shocks my soul

To lose someone

I have always had

Good or bad

My family had my back

There is just a pain in losing

The people who love you like that

Since I was just a kid

I have been right here facing this

I experienced death early and often

And as a result

I learned early

Every day is a gift

I know that any day

Your heart could just quit

It could instantly be over

And so I try my best

To live forward

I try to look ahead

Not back over my shoulder

You would think

It gets easier

As I get older

I suppose

I don’t know

Because even when

I think I am ready

I hear the words

And instantly

My heart is broken

I can barely breathe

I am choking

The tears begin to flow

And before I know it

The levee has broke

They are flowing

That is when I go straight to my knees

I ask the lord for the strength

And understanding

To be steady in these choppy seas

What can I do but live

Some are missing

But not all are gone

I have lost many

But a few very important ones

Live on


Have not sung their swan song

So while I will hurt

I must show them

How to keep moving along

How to turn to faith

On your darkest of days

It may hurt like hell

But it cannot

Take your life away

No matter the pain

You will bend

But you will not break

Darkness cannot come

And steal your light away

Not when you have been

Granted another day

Because though I feel cast away

The pain is growth

And through faith

I will be

Blessed with a wave

It may seem like I am going down

But I am already saved

I got a new angel today

A burst of energy

A new way

God seems to be forming

An army

Because he keeps drafting up orders

And calling my family

To serve at his side


Another one

Got called up

Into the Army Of Light

Into The Army Of Light By: Carl Johnson II (Carl The Muse)

In memory of my brother

Anthony Nesbitt (Bam)





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2 responses to “Into The Army Of Light By: Carl Johnson II (Carl The Muse)

  1. Donald Latson

    March 28, 2013 at 11:50 PM

    Remember our God is the God of all comfort. Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal. Bring your sorrow and your wounded heart to the One that really makes the difference. I am praying with you my brother.

    • A Man

      March 29, 2013 at 12:14 PM

      Like so many words you have spoken to me before. I know these ring true and I will hear them in repeat. You have been a muse to me since we met. Your kind words and sincerity have always made me feel better.



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