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Monthly Archives: March 2013

Many Many Reasons By: Carl Johnson II (Carl The Muse)

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A new time has arrived

The ones around me have fallen

Passed on

They have died

Right before my eyes

It changed

Life, Gone

Never again to be the same

The reign is over

But the monuments remain

They will always live on

I carry them in my veins

Our connection is so much deeper

It goes far far beyond our last names

With your lives

You have given me a fire

That cannot be tamed

You have turned

A fire

Into a raging flame

But

I will not be the fire

To burn down the house

I will be the warmth

Keeping the cold out

There is no reason to doubt

I already know the truth

I already have the directions

I know just what to do

So I might as well put it to use

There is no need to struggle

When you have been blessed with the right tools

No reason to guess

When you have been given a clue

I must be the new light in the window

And I will not stop growing

Until I reach the perfect crescendo

To any soul

That needs a candle

Look in my direction

This message is something

I cannot mishandle

I have to many Angels surrounding me

Too many seeds planted

To go hungry

Too much faith to see it any other way

And so here I stand ready in place

I watched life play out in front of my face

From a very early age

Creating the man you see here today

I Thank those that have loved me

Up until the day

That they no longer had the ability

To speak the words they wanted to say

Momma

Aunt Lit

Aunt Irene, Uncle Rose

Uncle Alphonso, Craig

Auntie Nete, Bam

Ced

Grandma Jewel, Grandma Mandy

Grand Daddy Homer, Grand Daddy (Fat)

Jackie

Faye, Aunt Freddie

Granny, Aunt Tammy

 Aunt Cora Lee, Jefferey

Uncle Jimmy

Mother, Oscar, Pockets

Berenice

This list goes on and on

I have many many reasons

That my fire has gotten stronger

Many Many Reasons By: Carl Johnson II (Carl The Muse)

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Into The Army Of Light By: Carl Johnson II (Carl The Muse)

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Whats next?

2013

Has been a year

I will never forget

Lost my mother what seems like

Just the other day

And now three months later

My big brother

Has passed away

He has left this place

And again

My family is on record pace

I admit

  At first I broke down and cried

This is my big brother

I once looked up at this guy

It was a rush of emotions inside

No mom to call on the phone

No house to go to and sit together

In this stormy weather

Momma too is gone

Our house no longer a home

In the last month

My brother has been clinging to life

It never is an easy thing to see

And I have been here so many times

I have my wings

I have been through many trials

I am loaded up on frequent flier miles

And still

I get jet lagged

It shocks my soul

To lose someone

I have always had

Good or bad

My family had my back

There is just a pain in losing

The people who love you like that

Since I was just a kid

I have been right here facing this

I experienced death early and often

And as a result

I learned early

Every day is a gift

I know that any day

Your heart could just quit

It could instantly be over

And so I try my best

To live forward

I try to look ahead

Not back over my shoulder

You would think

It gets easier

As I get older

I suppose

I don’t know

Because even when

I think I am ready

I hear the words

And instantly

My heart is broken

I can barely breathe

I am choking

The tears begin to flow

And before I know it

The levee has broke

They are flowing

That is when I go straight to my knees

I ask the lord for the strength

And understanding

To be steady in these choppy seas

What can I do but live

Some are missing

But not all are gone

I have lost many

But a few very important ones

Live on

They

Have not sung their swan song

So while I will hurt

I must show them

How to keep moving along

How to turn to faith

On your darkest of days

It may hurt like hell

But it cannot

Take your life away

No matter the pain

You will bend

But you will not break

Darkness cannot come

And steal your light away

Not when you have been

Granted another day

Because though I feel cast away

The pain is growth

And through faith

I will be

Blessed with a wave

It may seem like I am going down

But I am already saved

I got a new angel today

A burst of energy

A new way

God seems to be forming

An army

Because he keeps drafting up orders

And calling my family

To serve at his side

Today

Another one

Got called up

Into the Army Of Light

Into The Army Of Light By: Carl Johnson II (Carl The Muse)

In memory of my brother

Anthony Nesbitt (Bam)

Awaken

3/27/13

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The Wish I Wished By: Carl Johnson II ( Carl The Muse)

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Caged until the day I met you

My life was full of heartache

And absent of truth

I remember a time when I had no hope

I looked at my life

And I thought love was a joke

I was laughed at multiple times

It was the same script

The same actors had the same lines

It was a comedy

Starring me

But I was blind to it all

So I went on blindly

Lied to and deceived

Left behind

And forced to my knees

Forced to cry out to God

Hoping he would hear my pleas

I admit I had lost my sense of direction

I felt betrayed by love

When love was what I was protecting

And time and time again

I never learned my lesson

I kept on guessing

I was the last person that should be out there betting

Gambling life away

When I was running out of love to give

I had never been paid

But like a junkie does

Even when I had run out

I would find a way

I would just turn to another

That needed to be saved

When the truth was

I needed to get out of there

And ride the waves

I already knew I was out of place

But I often ignored the truth

When it was right in my face

I thought I knew better

If it was raining

I thought I could single handily

Change the weather

But now that I have been shocked

I know better

I know not to try

I know to wait for my blessing

And to be ready

When it comes falling out of the sky

I know to just take it when it comes

And not question is it true

Like I am asking God why

Why are you sending me the truth?

Why are you rewarding me for knowing

You would come through

That is not a game I will play

Not with my faith

Not with my love

I know that my blessings will come

When they are supposed to

From a power that is greater than us

I might not understand it

But in God’s love

I trust

I have faith

I must

Because I already know

God has shown me many times

If I am drowning

Call upon him

And I will be provided a boat

And if not a boat

Some miracle way to float

I am fully aware

So while my faith may rip

It won’t tear

Try to move me from that spot

Come back years later

I am still there

Now I am and old man

Loving from a rocking chair

But Carl can still walk

Carl can still run and talk

Love has been good to him

Nothing is the same as it was back then

The memories of the heartbreak

Reduced to film

Not even converted to Blu-ray or Dvd

Used as little as the backup to Tom Brady

He is stuck in the present

Lost in the now

So high in the sky

Its hard to come down

So damn happy

He forgot how to frown

I claim it

I have been waiting for a long long time

To unwrap this gift

The only thing I have ever asked for

When I look up to God

And cry my tears

I only ask for

Happiness

The Wish I Wished By: Carl Johnson II ( Carl The Muse)

Romantic-Moonlight-Pictures

 

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Keep The Present Close And The Past In The Distance By: Carl Johnson II (Carl The Muse)

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Stuck in thought

I am trapped in my head

In a maze

Lost

My life often flashes before my eyes

And I wake up somewhere in the past

And I am caught by surprise

I am blindsided by thoughts

I start a fight

But ready

I was not

Instantly!

A

BOOM!

A blow to the head

No one said goodnight

I was put straight to bed

It was the story of my life

Thoughts knock me left

And I was headed right

Falling asleep to a scary dream

Waking up and then thinking of the same thing

Caught in a reality

The same as hell

I could not escape for a moment

Because the visions were in myself

I often wondered about the past

And because I worried so much about then

I forgot to make now last

I was just focused on standing steady

I was not going to fall again

And end up on my A#%

But in the process

I forgot to pay attention to now

And I was blinded again

As I failed to see all of my blessings somehow

Focused on what was no more

I was terrified to move forward

Because of what I had previously found

Behind the door

But this time I must admit

Things are lining up different

Things are falling into place

And its moving fast

Without me even hitting the gas

Or trying to dictate the pace

All I have to do now 

Is be the best me

To win this race

This is a victory lap

Its is no longer a chase

Race is a term I use often

Because

I am racing into life

And walking into my coffin

I am trying to get better

I want to enjoy every day the same

The rainy and sunny weather

I want to be as strong and smooth as leather

I want a life full of harmony

A bunch of dreamers together

I want to move in the wind

I want to travel the world

Like a feather

No more going forward

To fall back

No more sneak attacks

I have to stay in the present

Stop dreaming of the days when I felt like a peasant

Because thoughts of those times do no end up pleasant

Here and now

Is where I will be

At my third eye

Aware of my blessings

Paying attention to it all

Seeing the lessons as lessons

And

Preparation

For all the love and light

I end up getting

This Is Now

Then Is Then

The Two

Should Not Be Mixing

Keep The Present Close And The Past In The Distance By: Carl Johnson II (Carl The Muse)

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Alive and Kicking No Longer The Victim By: Carl Johnson II (Carl The Muse)

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Fear

Fear is a crippling thing

Fear is the only thing needed to clip an eagles wings

With fear suddenly faith is erased

With fear in sight

You can see no way

Out of the sky you can fall

You were flying and suddenly

You forget it all

When you had no phone

And still someone answered your call

You had no way over the hump

And then you were thrust over the wall

Now fear has you standing here

Questioning your faith

Running from your toast

This is your cheers

You had to know eventually

It would be your year

Remember the heartbreak?

Remember the tears?

Remember barely breathing?

And still you are right here

You looked death in the eye many times

What do you fear?

Stand tall and get ready

A brand new time is near

You forgot what happened just the other day

When you were on the ground

Flat on your face

Fear tried again to take a space

In an already occupied place

But you made it through

Faith took over

And fear was forced to move

Because

Fear and faith

Should never be roommates

Evicted

You are the victor

No longer the victim

Those old fears

Its time to kick them

Alive and Kicking No Longer The Victim By: Carl Johnson II (Carl The Muse)

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The Mastery Of Love By: Carl Johnson II (Carl The Muse)

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Love

Love to me

A dominating thing

I am a humble subject

And love is my queen

To me its so real

And still

Its a fairy tale like thing

Others call it a myth

While others continue to dream

But

It is easier to believe

If it is something

You have seen

Love can be quite elusive

It can leave some with an answer

That may seem inconclusive

But love is very concrete

Love shines brightly

Love is not discrete

Love is loud

Even in silence

Love speaks

Like a dream

Love

Leaves you with a glimmer of hope

When there is no way up

Love throws you a rope

Just when you find yourself going over the edge

Love comes

And snatches you off that ledge

With love

There is no way down

If you feel yourself falling

It will be into the clouds

Love has that butterfly effect

You know the one in your stomach

That you very rarely get

Love can awaken a dying soul

Like a child in need

Love can create a reversal of roles

Love is loyal and true

Love takes care of love

Love never abandons you

Even those that abandon love

Can depend on love to the rescue

Love is another verb

Another one of those action words

Love is a thing that you can see

Love is also something that can operate clandestinely

Love is the ace that can create change

Love is the secret to true fortune and fame

Love is the way to make the world remember your name

Let them say you spread love with your time here

Let them say you ushered souls into light

And out of fear

Let them rejoice all of your years

Let the world be glad for the time

That God lit you on fire

And allowed you to shine

Tell them about when you were drowning

And love threw you a line

Tell them about when the world was rumbling around you

And you landed just fine

A few cuts a few bumps

And love did what love does

Love healed those lumps

Just when you heart stops beating

Love gives it a jump

And then it pumps at a rate

Which it never has pumped

Suddenly you are supercharged

You are no longer broken

Parked away in the garage

Love

Rekindles life

Love is all that is just

Love is all that is right

When the damsel is in distress 

Love is the knight

Love is the light

For those lost in the night

Love is infinity

Love is this thing

With endless possibilities

Love is life with a view

As far as the eye can see

Love goes far far beyond

My reach

But a master of love 

Is something 

I am actively 

Trying to be 

Everyday of my life 

I am practicing 

The Mastery Of Love By: Carl Johnson II (Carl The Muse)

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Faith Never Had A Doubt By Carl Johnson II (Carl The Muse)

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Faith

The thing that says you can make it

Even when you see no other way

You know you will be saved

You just continue to pray

And even if not today

You know inside

You will be saved

Faith

Faith is sometimes all I had

Things were breaking before I could fix them

The omen for me only seemed bad

But even as the roof came down and the fires raged

I knew it would not last

And it took its time moving through

It did not move fast

But still I knew

The truth

It would eventually pass

Faith

Is never replaced

It is the part of a person

That can never be erased

Faith sets the tone

Faith sets the pace

With faith

You never can lose the race

Faith is steady

Faith falls flat on its face

Just to stand up ready

Faith knows

In total darkness

Faith shows

Faith allows clarity

Faith allows you to see

When you find yourself gasping for air

Faith allows you to breathe

Faith is that overwhelming feeling

That brings the faith filled to their knees

The faithful are aware

That someone somewhere

Can hear their pleas

That someone somewhere

Will grant them mercy

Faith will eventually answer

Faith rewards the faithful

You will be appeased

The bad moments

Will eventually freeze

Faith never abandons the lost

Faith sees through pain

Faith sees the gain coming in the loss

Faith tells you

You will win that coin toss

Its always the same

Everything will change

But faith remains

Faith is like a chain

Every link

An essential piece

Needed to win the game

Faith is like a seed

Faith only grows

Faith becomes a tree

Faith multiplies

Faith follows Faiths lead

Faith knows that with faith

Is how you succeed

You must believe

You must know

You can achieve

You must be the farmer

Tend to the garden

Rid it of the weeds

Even in the drought

Never have a doubt

You must know

You will reap

What you sow

The faithful only wait

For the moment

And then

They just go!

The faithful jump

The faithful dive

The faithful fall dead

Just to awake and arise

The faithful is people like you and me

Have you ever seen The Life of Pi?

Its something that you should see

You will know the story well

I am sure you yourself

May have a story to tell

Oh how the faithful know the story of triumph

Over tragedy well

The faithful see everyday as heaven

The faithful have already walked through hell

Oh faith is a wonderful thing

Its like a boomerang

That you throw in the wind

Once you put it out there

It will come back again

Faithful is steady

Like the elements

The water

The earth

The wind

Faith recycles itself

Again and Again

Faith is such a beautiful word

Faith is truly a verb

Faith is done actively

Faith means you always will believe

Faith means you will sit patiently

And wait for that seed

And when it does sprout

Faith laughs because

And smiles

And thanks God

Because

Faith

Never had a doubt

Faith Never Had A Doubt By Carl Johnson II (Carl The Muse)

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