The Couple That Fights Every Night By: Carl The Muse

The Clandestine Perspective


A storm rages when I walk through the door 

Shes standing there daring me and ready

Like she has been waiting for more

And before I know It

I feel a rush to my core

And just like the last time

We end up rolling around on the floor

We go so hard

That we both end up sore

And even when we are both worn out

We go in for more

We end up this way every single night

Biting our teeth and waiting for the kids to say goodnight

I can see it in your eyes

You are just waiting to start another fight

And I am ready for the bell to sound

Because as soon as it does

I will turn over the ground

When I finished you will know

This field has been plowed

I guess that is why we seem to garner a crowd


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Wide Eyes: Carl The Muse

Life can take you all over the place and  nowhere at the same time, it’s all about what you allow yourself to see out of your eyes and avoiding the dark spaces that can render the strongest of us blind. Those with 20/20 can often live with less sight than those with none, few of us truly know how we will respond when the worst is yet to come.

The key is to see the rays of the sun, its in dreaming up the better days coming, its about facing what hurts dead on, knowing the winter will soon pass and the summer will come, just stay still and allow it all to happen, halt your soul from the fight or flight and that constant thought of running.

I used to sit just to be right there, I used to eat to taste the food, I used to do it because I could see the depth in what I was doing, I took my time in every moment, I lived as if I cared. I was on a constant climb up, how high could I climb, I was not the soul who was scared.

I often watched life in amazement, from the point of the curious soul, I always want to know more, the how’s, the whys, the who’s, the what’s. I observed everything going on. I saw life and I tried like hell to live it and when I experienced the greatest thing in life ( love ) I tried to give it.

It’s who I am, Its who I was. The one seeking the depth of, The one so hungry for what lies beneath the surface of it all. The fisherman, the fisher of souls, the listener of the stories to be told. It never did happen until I laying on the ground looking up at my feet, that the strength in me comes from the souls I meet, so when I go introvert my energy becomes weak.  I never meet a stranger or a person I don’t try to understand and in learning empathy and practicing sympathy, I had become one hundred times the man.

It’s a lesson taught through personal strife because at some point we get caught in the world and become blind to the fullness of the people and the experiences of life and to all the fruit and fish that the world itself can provide.

If only we just get up and go outside into our lives and out of the darkness of the depression of the eyes through the mind.

The sun is always shining.

Carl The Muse.


Recycling Trash I Gotta Get Past From: Carl The Muse Johnson

Sleepless nights creep up on you in life, they come at the hardest times when your legs can’t possibly move fast enough to keep up with your mind.

It’s been one of the most trying of my life. I am spinning all day and tossing all night.

It’s been a hell of a fight and there was no training no sparring, no chance for preparation, this is a learning on the job situation.

It’s gonna hurt forever, the pain may change but it won’t ever get better. It’s a cold hard fact, I just gotta live with that. I don’t need help being aware of my emotions, it’s how I react.

It’s never as bad as it seems, it’s just the worst to you, because it is your bad dream. Who feels what you feel? Who is dealing when you deal? When it hits like a brick I’m the one who’s nearly killed.

I’m trying to break the cycle of the worst days of my life being recycled but it feels like I’m fighting against hell without the arch angel Michael.



Suddenly Awake by: Carl The Muse Johnson


Suddenly I’m up and awake

Suddenly my soul is perfectly aware of time and space

Suddenly aware of what it takes

Suddenly aware of the rapid pace

Suddenly aware of the inevitability we all face

Suddenly aware of the warmth from the fire

Suddenly immune from it’s flame

Suddenly the perspective fixed

Suddenly I can’t miss

Suddenly the reticle is aimed

Suddenly the harvest is being touched by the rain

Suddenly the drought is no more

Suddenly heaven has opened the flood gates and every door

Suddenly I can breathe again

Suddenly I can feel energy seeping through every pore of my skin

Suddenly it’s all changed and still the sun is shining like it never has before

Suddenly I woke up and my own soul, my own path could no longer be ignored. From the soul of: Carl The Muse Johnson



From Then To Now, This Is How By: Carl The Muse

It’s been harder lately to write because so many changes have occurred in my life. I have been stuck in a rut as days simply turn into nights. I lost my mother and my big brother weeks apart both suddenly and unexpected. My soul had been shocked and I was rocked to my core, in an instant life was drastically different than it was moments before.

I shut down, I stopped dreaming, I stopped talking, I stopped writing, I stopped running, I stopped moving forward and just waited for whatever was coming.

My mom went through the same thing at my age with my grandparents and my uncle Rose dying very close together of very different causes.

I watched as a kid, I was barely ten when I lost the first one, but I didn’t start to get it until it kept happening, but even then I didn’t have the same level of realization and depth of feeling I have now.

It hit like a blunt object to the head, the pain knocked my soul out, It radiated through me but on the other end of the pain, I am finding a strength, an energy.

I am finding where I need to be, the adjustment to the new normal, to the new roles and taking the wheel and knowing I am now responsible for how the rest of my family’s story unfolds.

Its hardest to tell the intimate truths within you to strangers, but sometimes it’s the strangers who are kindred, all you have to do is speak your language and it will be native to them, but who hears silence?

I’m ready to speak, I know many out there will feel me. My struggles are my own but they are not unique, we have all been chained but we don’t all break free.


Nothing Can Be Done Without Faith By: Carl The Muse

imageIt takes a leap

And a whole big heap of it

It’s the only thing you can call on

When everything else in you says defeat

Its the only thing you got to get you on your feet

When you hit rock bottom, It becomes simple does the math

One thing will help you right the ship

And get you back on your path

They say trouble don’t last

But in those short times, you better find it fast

There is no way around it, This is the trait, the one class

No living soul can bypass

You better learn it now

Before it’s too late

And life gives you too much to handle

And you end up on your face

It’s the only way you will know

It will all be ok

There is no survival or growth



Nothing Can Be Done Without Faith By: Carl The Muse



It’s hard to fight what you can’t deny: By Carl The Muse

Call me

Call me out loud

Call me silently surrounded by a crowd

The waves you send

The chills they are profound

I can hear you so clearly

If you are far I’m fooled

You feel so near

Like you are inside of me

Or you are just within a shout of my ear

Either way

I can feel

Like I am getting closer to you

With every tear I feel myself loosing the fear

Every struggle has brought me nearer

To the moment

The place the time

To where I can truly find my way out of darkness

And embrace the sunshine

It felt like it would never happen

Now it feels like it’s right on time

If I had to wait a hundred years

As long as I get to experience it

I don’t mind

Just tell me where it starts

But I must be honest

This time

I may just cut the line

It’s hard to fight what you can’t deny: By Carl The Muse


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