Sleepless nights creep up on you in life, they come at the hardest times when your legs can’t possibly move fast enough to keep up with your mind.
It’s been one of the most trying of my life. I am spinning all day and tossing all night.
It’s been a hell of a fight and there was no training no sparring, no chance for preparation, this is a learning on the job situation.
It’s gonna hurt forever, the pain may change but it won’t ever get better. It’s a cold hard fact, I just gotta live with that. I don’t need help being aware of my emotions, it’s how I react.
It’s never as bad as it seems, it’s just the worst to you, because it is your bad dream. Who feels what you feel? Who is dealing when you deal? When it hits like a brick I’m the one who’s nearly killed.
I’m trying to break the cycle of the worst days of my life being recycled but it feels like I’m fighting against hell without the arch angel Michael.